He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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