I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
