What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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