I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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