We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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