the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
