Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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