Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
