dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
FUCK WHALES
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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