Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
