I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
