Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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