Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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