I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
His hands were made for my vagina.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize