You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
