Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
