My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
