can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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