my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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