mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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