Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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