I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
