Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
false alarm, still single
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
