We're facebook friends in real life
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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