he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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