Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
