It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
