Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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