hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come on in and take your pants off
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
