Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
