I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize