im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
