Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
