You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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