Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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