OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
