Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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