I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
