Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
