for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You made out with two different species that night
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
