I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
