Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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