Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
