btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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