all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
