How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
