The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
