Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
