found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
