so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Do vagina's smell?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
