What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
