I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
