I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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