I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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