About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize