woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
