Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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