as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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