It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
don't judge my taste in strippers
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
