Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
