I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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