What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize