Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
